This blog? It’s a mess.
Back in 2017 when I made the terrific idea of creating this website, I honestly had no idea how to actually blog.
I just knew that I wanted to have a nice little place where I can keep all of my writings that I wanted to put out there. For some reason I’ve always liked to write, whether it’s a poem, a story, my journal, etc.
So once the idea of a blog came out of nowhere, I really didn’t know what was happening. Before I knew it, I was spending literally my entire month customizing this whole website.
I must’ve been crazy. Just WHy in the world am I letting random people read whatever I spontaneously wanted to post on the internet?? What’s wrong with simply keeping it to myself and maybe only sharing it with a few people who I’m really comfortable with?? “But you never really show any of your–” OKAY FINE.
I agree that it doesn’t really make sense for all of my writings to just turn yellow under my bed or hidden up in my attic. Sure, when I was like fifteen years old I was pouring my heart out writing a fanfic about some crazy Minecraft YouTuber, only to abandon the whole thing because I just couldn’t think of a good enough ending for the whole story. I wasn’t very proud of it anyways and so I never really showed it to anyone, but then I couldn’t keep on doing that for the rest of my life, right?
But then like, this blog is still a mess. Once I found out about the book-blogging community, I was like, “WOWW this is a great idea!” Pfffft, you can tell from my first posts that I really didn’t know how to write a review. And then for the majority of 2017-2020, this blog was practically as dead as a graveyard. Now in summer of 2020, I went back over my cringey old reviews to try to make them a little more decent. (I know for a fact that my review of the Glass Castle is going to be the driest review that I’ll ever have on this site, and that’s even after trying to fix it a little.)
But more than anything, I’m trying to find my voice. This blog is a total mess, and I really couldn’t explain it because every time that I look back at my posts, I feel like I’m kind of at odds with myself. Like umm, did I really write that?? Where did all this come from??? What was I even saying?!? Because, I mean, IT ALL JUST SEEMED TO COME OUT OF NOWHERE.
So… here’s my crazy little blog so you can see whatever craziness comes out of my mind. Feel free to have fun reading whatever you’d like, no matter if it’s my old posts or my cringey posts or whatever. Also, PLEASEEE feel free to talk with me and to leave a comment on as many posts as you’d like because they’re all meant to be read. I intentionally put everything up on here knowing full and well that somebody probably 987 years from now might stumble across this website. I also know full and well that anybody I know in person might stumble across this website and will probably start wondering why I’m such a weird person.
I think I just can express myself a million times better through writing.
Anyways, this blog simply wanted to pop up into existence, and I was just all like WELL OKAY THEN because this whole entire world is a crazy weird place too.
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(As for the name of this blog, it started off as a horrible attempt at trying to be “poetic.” Google Translate isn’t very reliable, but I couldn’t think of a better name in English. So although I’m not in a French restaurant ordering how I wanted my steak to be cooked (either bleu, saignant, bien cuit, etc.) I just think of Mon Stylo Saignant as a personal blog name rather than a direct translation. This site is where you’ll find “my bleeding pen,” keeping a written record of whatever I wanted somebody–anybody in the audience to read, because apparently this is my online stage where I can be free to express myself, and I would really appreciate it if my theater isn’t empty except for me and God.)
If you don’t know where to start reading, here are a few of my most meaningful posts that concern my voice:
OkAy so in case those are too deep for you, here are some of my other favorite posts that I’ve written so far:
Hope you enjoy reading!! 🙂